Oh, Birchbox. You are seriously making me wonder why I ever decided to purchase an entire year of you at once. You see, before I bought a full year, my boxes, while sometimes underwhelming, were usually fantastic. Then, I took the plunge and every single box I've gotten since then has pretty much, for lack of better words, sucked. With those few sentences, let me walk you through what I got this month.
What I received:
- Beauty Protector Protect & Oil
- Coola Tinted Matte SPF 30
- Ruby Wing Color Changing Nail Polish in Kitten Heels
- Smashbox Full Exposure Mascara
- Smashbox Full Exposure Palette (that shit you see above printed on paper)
My Thoughts:
This box was curated by Us Weekly and it's a shame, because I used to really look forward to my curated boxes since they were some of the best that would come out during the year. This box is just shitty on multiple, multiple levels. For starters, I got two things that are basically unusable to sample; the Coola and the Smasbox Eyeshadows. The reason that I'm saying the Coola is unusable is because there's essentially no product in the bottle; maybe enough for one application to the face. I know that Birchbox is a sampling box and that perhaps one use is considered a sample, but to me, I should be able to get a few uses out of a sample to decide whether or not I like it. This part isn't Birchbox's fault, but since I have acne prone skin, mineral sunscreens are kind of out of the question and I'm pale, so I doubt the tint would match. I'm not even opening this product, it's going straight into a trade/giveaway pile since I know I can't use it.
Then... then there's the stupid Smashbox eye shadow card. This is technically considered my "beauty extra", so the value of this doesn't go toward the value of my box. However, I have to sit here and ask, what value? They hand these things out like candy for any product launch and they are terrible products. It's eye shadow... printed on paper.
The other samples are fine, size wise, but not really my style. I already know that I don't like this Smashbox mascara; it's just not for me. I may still use it, I may put it in the trade/giveaway pile; these decisions have not yet been made. Also, in non-typical Birchbox fashion, they didn't put anything in a pillow pocket, so everything was just rolling around in the box when I received it. The cap to the oil was loose and now there is thin layer of oil on everything that came in the box. Also irritating is that the oil has no size listed on it, so I have no idea how much I am getting.
And last, but not least, god damned nail polish. I have gotten nail polish in three of my last four boxes and I'm sorry, but I really don't have much interest in color changing nail polish. I've been alive long enough to fully remember the color changing nail polish craze of the 90s and I didn't care then, either.
Can you tell that I'm disappointed? I feel like my Birchbox posts each month have simply become rant sessions. This box was bad enough on its own, but then to have everything coated lightly in oil is over the top; Birchbox will be receiving an email from me.
Monetary Values:
Beauty Protector Protect & Oil: $2.74 for .5 fl oz? (full size: 4 fl oz/$21.95)
Coola Sunscreen: $3.60 for .17 fl oz (full size: 1.7 fl oz/$36)
Ruby Wing Nail Polish: $5 for .25 fl oz (full size: 5 fl oz/$10)
Smashbox Mascara: $7.18 for .14 fl oz. (full size: .38 fl oz/$19.50)
Smashbox Eyeshadow Card: Jack
Full Monetary Value: $18.52
Final Thoughts: Birchbox. I kind of hate you right now and I sort of wish I could break up with you. However, I have this lease with you right now, so I guess I have to wait until that's up. Crap.
If for some reason, you still want to subscribe to Birchbox, you can follow my referral link here or visit birchbox.com
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